A few weeks ago, I received a package with some lovely birthday presents from my Auntie who lives in Australia. One of the items in the package was a photo frame with a quote printed inside: “Sometimes on the way to the dream, you get lock and find a better one”. This really got me thinking. My auntie, you see, somehow manages to know me so well even though she lives on the other side of the world and it totally explains my current confusion on my future.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be in theatre. Music, dance and drama have always been my strongest subject and even to this day they’ve been my strongest passion. Recently though (namely since when I started my blog and my YouTube channel), I’ve been discovering a new world and dream that really seems to interest me – fashion and beauty journalism. As well as always wanting to be in theatre, I always also wanted to be either a teacher or a journalist (I went through this period of wanting to be a teacher so much that I even imagined I had 60 imaginary students and created registers and everything. I was so obsessed that I even used my built-in wardrobe as a fold-out classroom. My imagination was pretty wild). So, when I started to read magazines after seeing my mum reading them over a year ago (my mother always read Take A Break and that really isn’t a very exciting read so I had to venture into something a bit more exciting by myself), I headed straight to my local WHSmiths and stocked up on my first ever fashion magazines – January 2012’s British Vogue with Florence Welch on the cover and January 2012’s British ELLE with Lady Gaga on the cover. Ever since, I’ve been addicted. So when after spending about nine months of reading and creating interest in blogging and fashion journalism, I started my first ever blog in September 2012. I don’t actually remember what I called the blog but I wrote on it ever day for about a fortnight about my life and what I got up to in theatre and in general. After about two weeks, I gave up on it. I got bored and as a result, I deleted the blog. Then came YouTube…
Just over two years ago, I started my first ever YouTube channel. I remember uploading my first video to “ShaunyinWonderland” very clearly. It included me filming myself in my pyjamas on my bedroom floor talking about very random things and making really random facial expressions whilst miming along to “One Short Day” from Wicked. After about four videos and pretty much everyone in school having seen me make a fool of myself, I deleted the channel. Surprisingly, it wasn’t because I was embarrassed I don’t think because everyone genuinely seemed to find them quite funny to watch but I think it was because I just didn’t find it very good fun having to edit videos so much. I’m glad I made this YouTube channel though and let everyone know what a fool I was because this actually made making the YouTube channel I have now two years later a heck of a lot easier to share around.
“Shaunyland” was an idea that I had at new year because I knew that I wanted to try it again for a long time. Originally, it was to be called “PinkBluebells” but someone alreayd had that username. Now, four months later, here you are reading this blog post. Luckily, PinkBluebells was finally available again so “Shaunyland” is out of the window. One day, I really hope that this blog will really hit off one day. But until then, I’m just going to have to keep on working with it.
I really hope I end up doing something that I want to do. I’m happy I’m keeping my options open now instead of narrowing my life down. Maybe one day I’ll be able to do both. Theatre really is my core, though. But until then, I’ve got to keep working for it. Because who knows what dream we end up living?..