It is hard though to lose the comfort blanket of makeup in a place that is so full of people. It was mostly strange to me because I like to think I’m someone who is comfortable enough in themself to not feel the need of approval from others and to a degree that is still apparent, but I think it’s also apparent that I can’t feel this way without feeling like I’ve tried my best to look somewhat presentable. I don’t think this is because I want people to look at me and think I look good I hasten to add, by any stretch of the imagination, but more that I want people to see me as someone who takes care of themselves and without makeup on making me look much more like how I feel I should look, I struggle to conjure up this feeling.
In all honesty, I doubt people looked at me and thought I looked terrible. I think we all know very well that we see our own flaws and imperfections as much worse than those around us and to most people in the town where I live, I’m pretty sure that a teenage boy wearing no makeup was incredibly tame and normal in comparison to the full face of it I’d normally walk the streets wearing. Nonetheless, I still felt like people were judging me for how my face looked, wondering why I hadn’t bothered to hide my imperfections or why I didn’t try to look less tired. It’s with this that I also want to add that applying heavy makeup every single day of the week for years does make your skin without makeup much worse than those who never or rarely wear base makeup (unless you’re very lucky of course). This is probably the main reason why my male friends around me, none of whom wear makeup, have much better skin than I do and to me have no visible or distinctive blemishes, but I most certainly do. It’s the frequent application of what is essentially face paint that makes redness and blemishes much more obvious when the makeup isn’t there, as well as it having no good effect whatsoever on the terrible acne that I used to suffer with that still tends to come back and haunt me in waves every now and again.
Does me wanting to wear makeup every day to hide my blemishes and make my face feel much perkier make me a shallow person? I don’t like to think so. I like to think that it means I take pride in the way I look and I like to look as happy and glowing as I feel inside. I don’t think this makes me a shallow person whatsoever: I think this makes me pretty normal. Makeup is like clothing for your face in my eyes; people make extravagant fashion statements to express themselves and make themselves feel good on a day to day basis and makeup works in exactly the same way. If I wanted to hang low and be a bit of a nobody as I walk down the street then I’d go out of the house like I did on my no makeup day and live my life that way every day of the week, but I don’t.
Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll be doing another makeup-free day for a very long time if I can help it for the sake of my own self esteem. I don’t think this makes me shallow and the same goes for anyone who feels the same way as I do. As some people wisely say: I don’t spend time and money on applying makeup to please other people, I do it for myself because I love it.